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    Eli Vandersaul
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    Post count: 1

    I know I should’ve posted sooner, as I’m already almost halfway through the lessons. But unfortunately, I suffer from extreme social anxiety, which extends even to forums. Because of that I have like no understanding of how these work and so will most likely do something wrong. Please just understand it’s just a mistake and I’ll try to fix it, once it’s pointed out to me.

    My parents both had glasses, so it was only a matter of time before my siblings and I got ours. I got mine when I was 9 and hated them, because I hated how they looked on me. My self esteem plummeted and interestingly, my social anxiety started cropping up. My myopia continued to worsen till I was 15 and my family visited my “health nut” great aunt who happened to have a book on the Bates method. From then on I was obsessed at reversing my myopia, reading every book and article I could get my hands on and doing all the exercises religiously. At 17, still having no lasting positive results, I thought I’d take drastic measures and pitched my glasses altogether, which now looking back, sent my anxiety through the roof. I continued to press on without success and eventually went back to wearing glasses, so I could drive and actually function in society, but I made a concession and got reduced prescription.

    When I was 22, I tried some more things and even found an optometrist who agreed to measure my eyes, because I wanted some hard evidence that my eyes were improving to give me motivation. Because at this point I had stumbled upon active focus, though I had read nothing about it in any of my research, and I was actually getting some results. The optometrist didn’t think it was possible and every time I made a bit of progress, she was super surprised, but held to her belief that it could last. Eventually she wore me so thin with all her negativity that I quit going to her and also wasn’t as consistent with my regimen.

    After that I stumbled upon this, but unfortunately at the same time I became severely depressed and basically my life stood still for the next couple years. Finally, I got some help with my depression a couple months ago and so picked this up and bought the class. I’ve been doing everything in here that I’m supposed to, at least I think. It’s hard because of my experience, some things are out of order.

    So I’ve been drinking the carrot juice twice a week, measuring my close up, taking breaks from close up, and practicing active focus. Because I use reduced prescription glasses, I’ve been practicing active focus anytime I’m doing some mindless activity, which does happen to be a lot. I work as a manager at a small ice cream and chocolate shop, so most of my day is with like close to mid distance vision. I’m sure that’s helpful, but it also makes it feel like the program isn’t as much made for me, because I do so little close up. I have reduced my close up at home, stopped watching youtube in my spare time and instead go outside a lot more.

    Up until last week, I was making extremely good progress, looking at my close up measurements. I don’t remember what my eyes actually were from the optometrist all those years ago, but in my close up measurements I went from around -2.75 to -2 in about a month. I was hoping the incline would continue, because I really want to not have to wear glasses when I have to get my driver’s license renewed in January. I know it’s a far stretch to improve eyesight that much in that short of time, but like I said it was looking possible. Plus, I thought maybe my unique background of working on my eyesight for over a decade would bridge the gap. Ultimately, though, I’m just tired of doing stuff with my eyes. I’ve spent so much time and effort on them that I just want this journey to be over, contrary I know, to what Jake said in enjoying the journey. Most people though haven’t had to work 12 years to get nowhere though.

    Anyway, being a manager can be stressful and last weekend my vision dropped, I’m assuming from the stress and I guess now I’m just feeling discouraged, because getting stressed is just the nature of my job until I get better at dealing with it, which I am slowly. So I’m wondering, do you see anywhere that I could improve or do you think I’m doing the best I can in my situation?

    Sorry this is so long…it’s hard fitting a two decade long experience in just a couple paragraphs.

    EDIT: I totally forgot to add about getting glasses for close up. Since my myopia wasn’t that bad, I can active focus to clear up for close work and stay at a good distance without glasses. I also forgot to ask one question. So after I got stressed, it seemed like I just couldn’t active focus. It’s like it just didn’t work. It now takes more effort to get less results. I was wondering if you’ve heard about that. Also, I find myself blinking subconsciously in the way that I consciously do for active focus, but without the active focus. So it’s sorta become a habit, but not really. Not sure what I can do about that or just keep practicing active focus consciously.

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    • Jake S.
      Keymaster
      Post count: 8756

      All good with posting, no worries! I have plenty of social anxieties, I totally get it.

      First thing. Realistic expectations. It’s much healthier to set a realistic bar than hoping for the unlikely and then being disappointed. It’ll also lead to habits you don’t want, strain you don’t need, none of that is any good.

      ~1 diopter per year. That’s achievable. Initial gains can be up to 1 diopter. Just work through it, if you do it right the first time you won’t need to come back and do it over again. 😎

      Yes, stress will affect eyesight. The system as a whole all works together.

      I’m not sure that at around -2.75 you don’t want differentials. Again here, be realistic. Pushing past what’s reality with eyes, tends to be less effective than just relaxing and rolling with it.

      I recommend our community forum also. https://community.endmyopia.org It’s full of like minded and very nice people and lots of talk about physical and mental well-being. If you haven’t joined yet and want to, there is an invite in the first pinned post here in the support forum.

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